Drayton Bird recently received an email that left him astounded. It was the work of a mad man! Yet its level of crazy was matched by its brilliance. On your marks… Get set… Go!
Ponderous writing is lazy writing. Instead of digging beneath the true meaning of words, it’s easier to combine abstract language with industry terminology. Herschell Gordon Lewis warns against developing this syndrome in his own inimitable way.
Drayton Bird examines the front cover of a magazine from the National Trust. It looks beautiful but achieves little. So, what’s the problem? Drayton’s simple diagnosis holds an important lesson for all marketers, whatever their specialist medium.
Enjoy these timeless tips selected from the republished works of late copywriting great (and horror movie innovator) Herschell Gordon Lewis. If you enjoy these excerpts, don’t forget to download the free eBook!
The reigning heavyweight champion of profit-making copy has provided incisive tips and witty commentary over the past year. Here’s a little Xmas gift featuring some of his wisest words from 2021.
Drayton Bird presents an example of persuasive writing from a man he describes as the best copywriter ever.
Herschell Gordon Lewis lays waste to so-called experts who use obfuscation to peddle the obvious. A useful reminder to marketers and PR professionals who may fall into the trap of putting the business need before the publication’s (and by extension, the reader’s).
This article was originally published in Direct Marketing International in 2008. A collection of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ works is available in our free eBook: Killer Copy in a Crisis. Download this treasure trove of timeless marketing advice.
Some advertising agencies may not agree with the philosophy I advocate.
Most direct marketers should agree with the philosophy I advocate.
Just what is that philosophy? Whether your medium is direct mail, newspapers, magazines, television, telephone, or the web, the purpose of your message should be to generate a positive response.
And what is a positive response?
It isn’t a prospective customer or client saying: “I love you.” It’s a prospective customer or client saying: “I want to marry you.”
In clearer terms, it means the message should aim itself at a valid inquiry or an order. ‘Image’, as such, may win the beauty contest; but as an overall criterion of success, image winds up in second place.
I take issue with the mantra, ‘Marketers are creatively using the internet to raise awareness and affection for their brands.’ No, no, not because the statement is untrue. Rather, it’s because the statement glorifies an apparent waste.
If I’m sending an email on behalf of a television programme or a political candidate or a funeral director, branding and image are logical rationales and copy can exalt to the heavens.
But that isn’t marketing. It’s retention. Tuning to a TV channel and deciding to consider voting for a politician requires some thought but no expenditure of money. And few are prepared and willing to commit suicide because a mortician is offering a ‘special’ this week.
The web, that insatiable science-fiction monster whose cornerstone is emphasis on comparison, is price-driven. I welcome as a competitor anyone whose copy is supposed to offer something for sale and whose copy values image over offer.
Some of the most venerable ‘names’ in the world of commerce are teetering on the edge of insolvency or have toppled over it.
Some of the new hotshots in the world of commerce have leapt into the foreground of their fields because their attention has been to ‘Here’s the deal’ . . . not ‘Here is who we are’.
Back in the antediluvian era – say, 1995 – Web pioneers pointed with glee to their click-through rates.
At the time, that may have been a criterion carrying some validity, because the medium was still in its experimental, embryonic phase and the hypercompetitive era hadn’t yet dawned.
Ah, but that was yesterday. And, as much as we may look backward with nostalgia, we look at our computer screens today with hunger.
Click-through rates are the appetiser, not the main course. Competition in any field we can think of is brutal; and branding, a safe haven for its advocates because comparatively they don’t measure response by actual and countable response, may look superb when comparing design and taglines… but not so superb when comparing bottom lines.
A ‘name’ brand has an implicit advantage going into the arena: People have heard of it.
For the brand to triumph in today’s battle for (to corrupt the famed A E Housman quote) crowns and pounds and guineas, the marketer should use its reputation as a competitive weapon against the inevitable intruders . . . not as a traditional crutch.
Want to sell something to today’s impatient, sceptical, internet-wise consumer or business target?
Your message should answer the inevitable final question: ‘What’s your deal?’
Download our free eBook of Herschell’s marketing wisdom. Guaranteed to entertain and inspire any marketing professional!
Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay
Don’t be vague. It kills.
You probably won’t die.
But the response to your copy will.
Imagine someone tells you, “I’m going to make you rich someday”.
I bet the first thing you’ll want to know is “how rich?”
Followed by, “when?”
If you’re like most people you won’t bother asking.
Because you’ll assume their claim is a load of twaddle.
Don’t make the same mistake.
Tell people exactly what they’re getting.
Here’s an example:
In 1964 I wrote copy for a device called, the Bullworker.
Which made you “stronger, quickly”.
After a closer look at what the Bullworker did I wrote an ad with this headline:
That headline sold 30,000 Bullworkers in the first year.
The Bullworker still sells all over the world.
Go online and look.
Here’s a shortened version of the ad I wrote 55 years ago.
That headline anticipates and answers the important questions.
All their questions were answered.
With facts.
Not vague, sweeping statements they couldn’t trust.
There was no reason to say “no”.
And 4 compelling reasons to say “yes”.
If this ad had been headed “do this and you’ll get fit, sometime” would you have cared enough to open it?
I doubt it.
Be precise. Be persuasive. Be believable.
Or if you’d rather we do it for you, get in touch – http://draytonbird.net/agenq/
Between us, we’ve been telling people precisely what things do for them for 82 years – so we have a pretty good idea what we’re doing.
And if we don’t get you better results you don’t pay.
So what have you got to lose? – http://draytonbird.net/agenq/
Best,
Drayton
Herschell Gordon Lewis was never a man to go easy on bad marketing. The late marketing great dissects some of the poorer examples of sales messaging and offers his thoughts on how to avoid the same mistakes.